Even Alchemy Can't Solve Some Problems
by ThoseAnimeLovers
Summary: A story about when Edward Elric has to on a special mission to investigate a family by the Name of Ootori. The Host Club has yet to finish it without their final piece. But both sides discover there si more to life than just Alchemy and Wealth. (I tried to limit most swearing/cussing.)
1. Chapter 1

Ed awoke to the sun filtering through his window, he yawned. Today was the day Colonel Mustang had a special mission for him. Ed let out a sigh. What if he just ditched like he always did? Nah, he DID sound pretty perplexed about this. But yet what did Ed care? Suddenly his stomach growled and Ed realized he was hungry. He stretched and got up, put on a sloppy arrangement of clothes and went on to the downstairs of the Winry's house, smelling the delicious aroma of Granny Pinako's pancakes. He ran downstairs skipping every other step as he always did.

Granny Pinako was waiting downstairs putting out a display of pancakes, bacon and sausage, Ed's stomach growled again. Sitting down Al and winry came down not to long later and Ed shouted, "Let's Eat!" Not soon into eating, Al interrupted Ed's eating, "Brother, why can't I come with you on this mission?" Ed stopped, "Whaddya mean?" Al looked down, "Colonel Mustang called me last night telling me I couldn't come along that this mission was only for you..." Ed put down his silverware, "Huh? He never told me! That big-" Winry threw her wrench at Ed calming him down, "Look Ed, you gotta stop being so hotheaded!" Winry shot him a look of distaste. Ed rubbed his head where the wrench had hit him and shot Winry a look of annoyance before resuming eating again, "I will take it up with him when i met him." After downing his glass of Orange juice since he hated milk, he excused himself and grabbed his coat and ran outside.

Ed ran quickly, his auto mail slowing him down slightly. It wasn't long before he reached the train going to Central. Fortunately for him the train was barely leaving and he quickly boarded and sat in the back of the train,dropping himself down on a seat. There weren't a lot of people on the train surprisingly. Ed sighed and looked out the window, seeing the landscape pass by him.

As soon as Ed approached the office where Mustang was, kicking the door open with his auto mail leg, for it was slightly stronger than his flesh leg, hearing it bang in the hollow halls. He walked past officers looking at him and finally after running up the stairs met HawkEye, she smiled at him, "How's it going Ed?"She was the only military officer to call him by Ed. Ed nodded to her, "Yeah fine, besides being called in by Colonel I'm-so-amazing-because-I-am-You-superior-officer."Hawkeye laughed and pointed towards Colonel Mustangs office.

From behind the ever-growing pile of papers on his desk, Colonel Mustang greeted him "Oh hey, sorry Fullmetal, I almost didn't see you especially with you being so short and these papers on my desk." Ed's face twisted into a face of anger and he started to yell, "Who are you calling a person so small he could be stepped on and not even be noticed!" Colonel Mustang smirked and motioned for him to sit. Ed let out a low growl and sat, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Well," Colonel Mustang began clearing his throat, "We have had some late connections with a family named Ootori in Japan, Apparently they have had many new weaponry advances but refuse to share with us about it. Your job is to infiltrate their school, An Academy named The Ouran Academy and fin d out more in case they ever plan to attack us. Ed groaned, "Why do I always have to do stuff liek this? WHy not do it yourself?" Colonel Mustang let out a sigh, "Because, you look like a teenager and you haven't been getting caught up on your education. SO it's a win-win situation!"Ed glared at Colonel Mustang , "What makes you think I would WANT to do this?" Colonel Mustang smirked again, "Well, I guess since your so short, maybe it would be for the best..."

Ed got up so suddenly his chair fell back and he lost it, "I AM NOT A MICRO-SIZED BEAN YOU COULD JUST FLICK AWAY! I AM GONNA DO THIS AND PROVE TO YOU THAT I AM NOT!" Ed grabbed the papers from him reading them over, silently the Colonel laughed at Ed. It was so easy now. "Oh and Ed," Ed looked at him with a look of malice, "What now?" His voice was sharp, "Me and Hawkeye are going along, pretending to be your parents." Ed's jaw dropped, "NO NOT YOU! YOU ARE THE WORST-!" Mustang cut him off and not to long later they were on a train heading for Japan's airport.

**Well here is the first chapter! Please comment and tell me how it was! I am still a noob and trying to figure out how to add chapters so yeah! I know this plot has been done hundreds of times but it seemed entertaining to me. SO here ya go! I will try to add a new chapter every day at least twice a week. Thanks! -TheDarkAngel**


	2. Chapter 2 - Getting Settled In

Ed looked out the train window, obviously angry that he would have to travel with Mustang AND have to call him dad. Hawkeye was fine, he liked her. But Mustang was a narcissistic jerk. Ed let out a huge sigh, "WHY does HE have to be my dad? Why couldn't someone else be him?" Mustang replied with a smug lilt to his voice, "Because everyone else was busy. And I don't think anyone would wanna be a dad to a little tyrant like you." Ed's eyes widened, a flashback of his dad leaving him, was that the reason he left? Ed was to hard to take are of? He shook his head, "Oh yeah, then why did you take it?" Mustang didn't answer.

They all arrived at the train station, Mustang still quiet and Ed was obviously still angry. Hawkeye just stood there dumbfounded. These two had serious problems. She shrugged and grabbed some of the luggage. "You boys better go get your luggage, I ain't getting it for you!" Only Mustang turned around to get his. Ed just walked on. Hawkeye sighed and grabbed his luggage anyways. Ed's thoughts were racing, anger, questions about WHY Mustang had wanted to play the role of his father? What is this Ootori guy... He wished Alphonse were here. He traveled into a small car with His two superiors and looked at this Japan place, it was interesting and different. There were huge skyscrapers seeming endless and tiny houses. Even a huge pink MANSION at the edge of the town. He wondered where the Academy was.

As soon as Mustang unlocked the door to their house, Ed raced past them, determined to get the best room. He examined downstairs before running upstairs, there were five doors. One was a closet and four were bedrooms the last was a bathroom. Two bedrooms had attached bathrooms but only one had a view of the front yard. Ed stole that room. He went downstairs to grab his suitcase. It seemed odd begin here without Al. He sighed and ran upstairs unpacking his stuff. He looked around the room, it was decorated in various shades of grey. He sighed, It would do.

Ed had nearly unpacked everything and just slopped them into the drawers, not caring much anyways. All they were, were clothes. Suddenly Mustang opened the door unceremoniously. He dumped a purple suit-like thing into Ed's arms and turned to leave. "What the heck is THIS?!" He motioned to the uniform. "It's freaking purple for God's sake!" Mustang turned a half smile on his face, "It's blue and it's your school uniform, let me remind you this is Ouran ACADEMY." With that He left and Ed looked at the purple suit. "It's freaking purple..." Ed shoved into his drawer and went downstairs, "Hey, what's for dinner?"

To Ed's surprise Mustang was cooking! 'How does the freaking jerk do it?' He asked himself. He had expected Riza to be cooking. 'Don't think I am gonna eat any of your food. . . ' Ed looked for Riza, 'If she left me alone with that narcissist,I swear I'm gonna shoot myself.' But Ed didn't have to think long, he had found Riza in her room, Mustang and Riza slept in different rooms. She was folding her clothes and putting them away neatly, he looked across the hall at his room, which was strewn with clothes and trash already, he closed the door swiftly with his foot...

"Oh, hey Ed." Riza turned to him. "Interesting huh? Taking on this job." Riza sighed and Ed let out a "Tch" and replied back,"It doesn't seem bad except for attending school, having to do work, sleeping in the same house with Colonel Jerk-Face and wearing a PURPLE uniform! It's retarded!" Riza laughed lightly. After hanging out with Riza for awhile Mustang called them down for dinner. Riza got up, "Aren't you gonna eat?" She asked Ed who was just lying on the bed, "Eat with that guy? You wish." Riza sat down again, "He cooks pretty well, just this once please?" Ed looked at her. Usually he wasn't so easy to bend but he got up rushing past her and going downstairs. He looked at the food, It was porkchops with seasonings and mashed potatoes and vegetables? How the heck did Mustang cook all this in a matter of an hour?

In a matter of time Ed had wolfed down dinner, It was really good but Ed was too stubborn to tell Mustang. "Geez, how was the food? Did you even taste it?" Ed shot him a murderous look, "Yes I did, it was fine." Ed had lied, the food was amazing.

After dinner Mustang had gone to his room to finish some paperwork and Riza left for a nap. Ed flopped on the couch, reading a book on alchemy. He sighed, it was all the same and it didn't seem like many people here practiced alchemy.

In spite of him reading the book before, Ed still got into it and didn't even notice Mustang get out of his room and walk over to him."Hey, FullMet- er Edward." Ed looked up, a blank expression, "It's Ed, I hate people calling me Edward. And what do you want?"

**Ok thanks for reading all that! I really enjoy writing these stories for you, so I might try to add on mroe than one a da can during the weekdays for you guys if You really like it. DarkAngel OUT! *Uses alchemy to dissapear.***


	3. Chapter 3

"What do you want Mustang?" Ed looked at the superior officer, he hated to call him by that but it was easier than saying colonel Mustang all the time."I wanted to tell you that I am going out." Ed looked at him surprised, "And I thought you were supposed to be "married" to Riza! Cheating unofficially now?" Mustang crossed a look of annoyance across his face, "No, I merely have to go out for some work duty." Ed hated to admit it but Mustang seemed like he was telling a god-honest truth. "Ugh, whatever."

Ed returned to reading, he sighed putting the book down. He wondered if there was a bookstore here. . . He ran upstairs forgetting that Riza was taking a nap, "HEY RIZA!" He opened her closed door to find a grumpy, tired and forcefully awoken Riza, it was kinda scary, her hair was down which looked kinda pretty but her eyes seemed to be glowing and a dark aura floated around her, "What do you want Edward?" Ed stuttered a bit, "U-uh i was wondering if I could go around town to see fi there are any bookstores around or something. . ." Riza looked at him, her face somewhat soft, "Go ask your dad."

Ed walked out, Riza referred to Mustang as his dad? Ed laughed to himself, as if that would ever happen! He then ran downstairs and out the door. He could just say that Mustang said yes. Ed ran into the streets of Japan. He looked around in awe, he had chosen his simplest outfit, a white shirt with black pants and a long black overcoat. His hair was up in a braid as usual and he ran through the streets, even though it was almost seven, the sun was still up!

Ed made sure he had his money with him and walked around, everyone around here dressed pretty normally. He could easily tell the rich from the moderates though. He came to a little grocery store. He thought of getting some food to eat while he was out and shrugged, going in.

He went in and looked around, everything was in Japanese! He tried hard to read the price for something but he couldn't. He sighed. How did Mustang do all of this? Suddenly a person tapped his shoulder, "Excuse me, are you okay?" He turned to see a girl with short brown hair and hazel eyes. "Oh yeah, I don't speak Japanese so this will be a tough one!"

Turns out the girl's name was Haruhi and she also attended Ouran Academy. "So, you attend The Academy as well? You must be pretty smart, probably skipping some grades too." Ed looked at her, "Why do you think that?"Haruhi laughed, "Because your so short!" Ed resisted using alchemy to shut her up, "I'm not short, you guys are just freakishly tall!" Haruhi laughed, "You know, we should meet up some time. Hang out."

That's all he got out of her before some tall blond boy with violet eyes dragged her away, claiming Ed was just trying to get her attention and he was acting. Ed smirked, That guy was such a kid.

Ed walked into the door, seeing Mustang home on the couch doing paperwork. And Riza came out of her room, "Back finally?" Ed looked at the clock, it was nearly nine. "Oh sorry, time flies huh?" Riza nodded and looked at his bag of food, "Where'd you get that?" Ed looked down at it, "Oh, at the supermarket."

Mustang turned to look at him, "How could you read Japanese? I know for a fact you can't speak it."Ed shot him a glare, "Well, what if I do!" Mustang chuckled, "Yeah, right."

Ed had climbed into bed, exhausted after today. And tomorrow he had to go to this Academy place. He sighed and spotted something from the corner of his suitcase, he picked it up and saw a manilla envelope titled to him. He took it out and look over some papers then reading the title, "How to speak Japanese." Oh geez, cause this is so helpful now.

Ed fell asleep steadily, wrapped in the covers and snored lightly.

**WOOOOOO Finally, I decided to post a third chapter today since I was bored. I don't have a lot to say. Bye. Please comment, leave your opinion about the story so far.. y'know stuff like that.**


	4. Chapter 4 - Sort of the FIrst Day?

Ed woke in a flurry, a figure bursting in and throwing open the curtains and his uniform being thrown in his face. Now he sat in the back seat of a car. He yawned and stretched "Edward, I hope you act like a boy not a impolite brat here." Mustang commented and sighed. Ed held back a snort and saw the huge pink mansion looming before him, "Oh. My. God. I am NOT attending school in a pink girl's mansion!" Ed said attempting to think if he jumped out if he would get hurt. . . . He sighed and sat back running one hand through his blonde hair.

"Edward! We're here!" Mustang's voice snapped him out of his daydream. He got up "Oh, gee your welcome!" Mustang called after him. Ed just waved and walked off, trying not to look amazed by the landscaping. He walked along and watched girls fly by in long yellow dresses and boys walk by in uniform's like his. He messed with his tie a bit and came to the doors which were open. He walked up the steps. He looked around and looked at the list of classes he had and where they were.

"Oh hey there Ed!" Ed looked up to see Haruhi running towards him. He nodded "Hey." Haruhi looked at his list. "Oh, classes. Oh wait! I know that class! I think you have the same schedule as me!" Ed shrugged then noticed she wore a suit and asked, "WHy are you wearing a boy's uniform if you're a girl?" Haruhi stammered a bit, "U-Um. . " Then a group of boy interrupted her, a tall boy with dark hair and glasses pushed his glasses before saying, "She owes a debt to us, so she works at our Host Club. No one has seen through her disguise as of yet so this might be interesting. . " He got a devious look in his eyes and opened a notebook to write furiously.

The tall blonde boy with violet eyes looked at him, "Oh! Hey I know you! You're Haruhi's friend. Welcome to Ouran." He smiled and held out his hand, "Yeah, whatever." Ed said. Two ginger boys leaned in on him, "Well he sure seems joyful Boss. I don't think he is Haurhi's friend." Haruhi let out a sigh of irritation, "He is my friend and how many times do I have to tell you Hikaru, Kaorou that my friends are none of your business." She scolded them. One of them got a slight blush to their cheeks and the other held his head high and retorted back.

He sighed, Hikaru and Kaorou. . .Ugh these Japanese names so mind twisting. Ed thought and ran his hands through his hair again. He looked at it and thought he picked up another habit. He looked at a tall, tall dark-haired boy and an extremely short blonde-haired boy that looked like he belonged in first grade. He almost jumped for joy, a high-schooler short than him! Yes! "Hello, I am Hunny! This is Takeshi Morinozuka!" The blonde boy squeaked. Suddenly he looked up slightly, "Why are you so short?" He asked and Ed felt irritated, "How could you call me short! You little rich brat! I am bigger than an ant that could be easily squished by someone's foot!" He raged.

Then all of them gathered and whispered together looking up occasionally. Suddenly Haruhi grabbed his hand and pulled him away, "Let's go and get away from these guys." SHe said and walked him away.

**I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I apologize if I haven't posted for awhile, please don't kill me -Bows- But I have been busy then had some password problems! Heh heh. But anyways thanks for reading the fourth chapter of Even Alchemy Can't Solve SOme Problems! ^-^**


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